Major revisions

I decided to use my paradigm shift essay to make major revisions on. I focused on my argument and the narrative of the essay.

For my argument,

1. I moved the paragraph starting with "Although our society has never been as advanced as it is now" from after the paragraph starting with "While the 1950s" to before.
2. I went into further specifics regarding the "numerous epidemics" I talked about.
3. I removed a piece of information that didn't substantiate my claim. There was a statistic that showed an increase in government spending on researching integrative medicine which is a combination of drug treatments along with other forms of alternative treatments like acupuncture. This was located at the end of the paragraph beginning with, "according to the University of Maryland" Government spending has almost nothing to do with public attitudes toward homeopathics.

For the narrative,

1. I added a hook. I added a hook that focused on the absurdity of the homeopathic ideology. The doctor tells you what your symptoms are and prescribes nothing - homeopathic medicines are usually so dilute that there is nothing except sugar in them.
2. I added a transition between paragraphs 5 and now 7. This link serves to move from the popular sphere to the scientific sphere of the understanding of the mechanisms of disease. The transition begins: "It would have been difficult to predict"
3. I added a transition between the second to last paragraph and the last paragraph. This now summarizes the shift between science and homeopathy more concisely and allows a smoother move into the conclusion.
4. To improve the flow I fixed up weird sounding sentences and corrected grammar.